How can I not try
To fill the cracks and patch the walls
Nobody lives in a ruin by choice
Human nature dictates the need for protection, home, belonging
Once we’ve set upon the path we must continue, we must try
I can’t give up
A keen eye in the past
A hopefull eye to the future
I can only work to not repeat my mistakes, not continue in error
All gifts in this are cherished
Minescule and benign alike
and the little voices
Standing in the night with nothing between the air and my skin
Longing for the roundness of the moon
The soft glow
If ever there was a moment to hold, to capture yearning it is now
I can see it, I can imagine what it feels like
I can almost remember touching it as a child
The memory of the thing is not the thing at all
It isn’t enough to consider how what I do affects those around me, and how their feelings affect me. That’s still focusing all my energy on me. To truly live, truly be happy I must work to find my joy in the fulfillment of the people I touch. I must give selflessly without fear.
I will fail, I will get hurt and it will not always be comfortable. These things are temporary and are part of feeling, part of being human.
I cannot expect things, it cannot be my motivation.
I should find pleasure where I am able to provide it.
This simple life that I’ve made so difficult with my actions can change. The past can be just that, the future can be what I make it.
There is no good reason to hide love, love is not power and should not be used as such. Love is a living thing, to share it is to nurture it and help it grow.
I must remember that nobody owes me anything. What I choose to give is just that, a gift, it creates no debt.
Nothing says “Fuck Today” like giving your coffee a healthy pour of Pendleton
Today may officially become “FUCK IT I QUIT DAY” before all is said and done
I hear that sleep is pretty cool